Romance, Regulations and Royal Fairy Cakes
by Emcee Frodis
Summary: Martin's relationship with the Princess of Liechtenstein progressing better than he could've imagined. After Croyden, he has one thing to remember it by. Too bad Douglas won't let him enjoy it.


**Title:** Romance, Regulations and Royal Fairy Cakes  
**Fandom:** Cabin Pressure  
**Pairing:** Martin/Theresa  
**Genre:** Romance/Comedy  
**Rating:** Teen  
**Summary:** Martin's relationship with the Princess of Liechtenstein progressing better than he could've imagined. After Croyden, he has one thing to remember it by. Too bad Douglas won't let him enjoy it.  
**Author's Notes:** Thanks to Lexie for the betawork and support.

* * *

Whenever Martin Crieff was in a relationship, he spent the first few weeks in a perpetual state of panic.

He always waited for the other shoe to drop. For the moment when his ineptitude would send his girlfriend towards greener pastures. No girl wanted to be shackled to a short, anxious, planespotting loser.

More often than not, it was his panic that tended to drive his girlfriends away. Not that he had a large datapool to sample from. Was two girls a pattern? It seemed more like a line. The third had just become aggravated with his obsession to become a pilot. He hadn't paid enough attention to her. If he had, he was sure he would have driven her off the same as he had the others.

He was utterly shocked when the nerves that usually accompanied the first blush of a relationship faded about twenty minutes into the tour of Duxford. Inexplicably, miraculously, he found it easier talking to an honest-to-God Princess than any of the other girls he had ever dated.

With his nerves dispensed of, Martin found he actually enjoyed the early stage of a relationship. Of course, he couldn't say he'd really experienced much of a _later_ stage. All of his relationships had ended fairly quickly.

Early days with Theresa meant finding out about her, letting her know about him. They only had the day at Duxford before she had to return back to Liechtenstein- sadly on a commercial flight, since without the king, MJN was out of the question. But only a few hours after she landed, she and Martin were conversing with each other through Skype.

Douglas would have been proud. Instead of coming home to his flight simulator, Martin came home to talk to Theresa. Their conversations went on long into the night, until Martin absolutely had to go, lest he not have enough hours to fly in the morning.

Eventually, they just started talking through their laptops lying down on their respective beds, looking at each other sideways. They fell asleep like that. Theresa had teased Martin until he was absolutely maroon in the face about their first time sleeping together being through a computer.

Then came the Taj Mahal. Martin was absolutely shaking with nerves. Theresa assured him that she was more excited to see him that she was any of the Heads of State in attendance. Theresa had proudly introduced him to everyone they talked to as Captain Martin Crieff, a personal advisor to the King. When he tried to protest that giving Maxi advice on humility did not make him an advisor, Theresa had dragged him behind a bush and snogged him soundly.

Croyden was different. It was not just that their schedules happened to overlap. Theresa had specifically set aside some time and fly to England just to see him.

For the first time at an aviation exhibit, Martin couldn't focus on the planes at all. His mind had been entirely on Theresa, on the way her mouth had felt slanted against his while her fingers gently traced over the medals on his chest. He'd felt a tad ridiculous in his polyester uniform at a fancy bash, but it was proper protocol. Besides, Theresa said he looked sexy in his uniform.

When she noticed he was distracted, Theresa suggested they leave the visitor's centre for another day. She'd taken his hand and dragged him back to his van. When they got to her hotel, the management hadn't wanted to park it, but Theresa put on her Princess Voice.

Theresa's Princess Voice had rather the same effect on Martin that his uniform had on her. Any thought of nerves were obliterated and Martin barely made it to the elevator before he was kissing her. Once in her room, they weren't able to get to the bed.

It seemed Theresa had planned for this. She'd only booked the room at the hotel for one night, despite staying in England for a several days. When they woke up at the morning after, rather than regretfully slinking off, Theresa asked Martin to take her back to his house.

He protested. An attic in a shared college house was no place for a woman like Theresa.

When she smiled and assured him it was fine, he realized there actually were no women like Theresa.

At his house, in the tiny attic, Theresa looked over the schematics he had on the walls and the models he had spread around. She'd said that rather than taking her to Duxford or Croyden, he should have just brought her home. Martin had blushed, but still grabbed her by the hips and pulled her to his bed.

Yes. That was something he wasn't able to do at Duxford or Croyden.

The next two days were spent in absolute bliss. Martin was quite tempted to tell Arthur that his theory of 'perfect happiness' was completely rubbish. As he lay with Theresa, he didn't think about when it would end. All that mattered was that moment, being in her arms. They made love and when they were resting, talked about everything and anything.

Theresa talked about being raised a princess. How before Maxi, there had been worry with her parents she would be the ruling monarch. She was raised to be Queen if necessary. She was very intelligent and insisted she be allowed to get a degree in political science. It would have been a doctorate if Maxi had not been born. Instead, she was called home to be governess to her little brother. When her father died, she became acting Regent until Maxi came of age.

Martin talked about his family. His troubles with Simon and how his dad had died before he saw Martin become a pilot. How nothing had ever felt right except for being a pilot, even if he got so nervous on his exams it had taken him seven tries.

And then there was Zurich. Martin told her about Swiss Air. How if he got the job he could be closer to her. But if he left MJN, the company would fold. He was still torn as to whether or not he should allow his home of five years to fold because of his own desires.

Theresa just kissed him. Told him that whatever he chose was all right with her. If necessary, she would tell her family that Maxi needed someone watching over him in Fitton. She did, after all, have five sisters who could take her place for her duties at home.

Martin believed her. Martin believed this woman- this _Princess_- would be utterly content living in his attic, as long as they were able to be together.

After another bout of lovemaking, Martin had set up his flight simulator. He'd set Theresa in his lap and placed her hands on the controls, covering them with his. He guided her along in the training exercise.

If it had been an actual plane, they would have died a horrible, fiery death as they became much more interested in caressing and kissing each other than anything to do with flying.

The horrible thing about time is even when you're not thinking about it passing, it is. Three days after their date at Croyden was cut short, Martin was scheduled to make flight to Minsk. Theresa would be gone by the time he got back.

He held her tight in his arms that night. He was tempted to beg and plead her never to leave.

Douglas had teased him about the poetic words of a man in love. Utterly flustered, he'd denied any such emotions.

Now, he felt like he could write an epic about his adoration for the beautiful princess and he would gladly read it to Douglas, Carolyn, Arthur and ATC.

* * *

When he awoke, Martin found himself alone in his bed. He sighed and felt the spot Theresa had been. It was cool. She had not been in bed for a while.

He pulled himself out of bed and pulled on some clothes. He had to shower and get ready for the trip. Hopefully, there wouldn't be a line of students waiting for the shower. Usually, they were nice enough to let him in so he wouldn't be late for his flight.

On the way, he ran into one of the students, Bashir. Bashir grinned at Martin, giving him a nudge. "We all knew you were up there with someone."

Martin felt the heat flood his face. They'd managed to sneak around the house for the last few days without being spotted by the students. But he supposed there were some noises involved. He just hoped they hadn't heard her moan 'Captain'.

"We just didn't know how hot she was," Bashir was _leering_ at him. "Good show, Marty!"

"She's-She's still here?"

"Yeah. Why? Did you want her out? You've spent three days holed up with her!" Bashir jerked his thumb down the stairs. "She's in the kitchen."

Martin hesitantly crept down the stairs. Bashir was right. Theresa was in the kitchen. And it appeared like she was...

Baking?

Well, she was actually icing. She smiled at Martin, the fairy cake in her hand. "Hallo Martin." She smiled at him. "I was wondering when you would wake up."

"What are you doing?" Martin asked. He eyed her. Well, obvious he _knew_ what she was doing. He just wasn't sure why. But oh, she looked very good while doing it. She was dressed in one of his t-shirts and boxers. His clothes had never looked better. He was tempted to just hang the flight and drag her back up to his room.

"I am signing a peace treaty, was does it look like?" Theresa teased. She set down the fairy cake. "I wanted to apologize to your students for all of the noise. It was very rude of us. And you will be left with the fall out while I go back to Liechtenstein. I went out early and bought things to make these for them. But-"

She produced a small fairy cake. This one had a little icing smiley face on it. "I made one for you as well."

Martin accepted the fairy cake and smiled back down at it. "Why a smiley face?"

"I _had_ wanted to write 'Thank you for the many orgasms', but I thought it was a bit long for such a small cake." She got out of her seat and gave him a kiss on the lips. "Just pretend that is what it says, okay?"

Martin shook his head. "I'm just surprised... How do you know how to bake?"

"Oh, Maxi!" Theresa laughed. "He was such a little piggy when he was younger. And he always liked when I was the one to make him things."

Martin nuzzled his nose to Theresa's. "This is... Thank you."

"You should not be thanking me. It is meant as thanks to _you_." She nuzzled back.

Theresa cleaned up the bowls she had used to make her fairy cakes. She then gave Martin a coy smile. "That this is cleaned up, I need to get cleaned up myself. Join me?"

Martin set his fairy cake down on the table and chased after the giggling Princess.

* * *

"Spain to Maine," Douglas said casually.

Martin frowning as he held tightly to the controls. He sighed heavily. "Vaduz."

Douglas rolled his eyes. "Oh, _Martin_. Nothing rhymes with Vaduz!"

Martin sighed once again. "I'm not _looking_ for something that rhymes with Vaduz. It's just... Well... Theresa is on her way back there now."

"_Now?_" Douglas arched a brow. "Wasn't your date to Croyden three days ago?"

Martin immediately felt his face heat up. He looked away from the co-pilot, trying to hid his reddened cheeks. "Well- uh- Ah- Umm... Yes, well, it _was_..."

"OH! _CONGRATULATIONS!_" Douglas crowed.

Martin spluttered and gripped the controls tightly. He looked over at Douglas quickly. His eyes widened when he saw Douglas turn on the cabin address.

_BING-BONG!_

"Ladies and Gentlemen," Douglas said smoothly.

"_Douglas!_" Martin hissed softly.

Douglas just smirked back at him. "This is your co-pilot. If you all could give a big round of applause to our Captain. He has successfully opened foreign relations with Liechtenstein. Let's hear it for Captain Crieff."

To Martin's horror, a smattering of applause actually echoed from the back of the plane.

"DOUGLAS!" Martin cried. "How could you?"

"Oh relax, Martin!" Douglas sighed. "The passengers have all seen you! None of them would ever believe you are _giving the royal treatment_ to the Princess of Liechtenstein."

"But I _am_ giving the royal treatment to the Princess of Liechtenstein!" Martin protested.

"Aha!" Douglas pointed at Martin. "I _knew_ it! So, are you going to tell me about it?"

"Of course not!" Martin shrank down in his chair. "That's a private, personal thing between... It's not something that you... It's just... Oh, just shut up!"

Martin was spared any more discussion of his love life when Arthur bustled in with the dinners. "Hello Chaps! What did your announcement mean, Douglas? Has Theresa made Skip some sort of Ambassador?"

"What can I say, Arthur?" Douglas's voice had a distinct leer to it. "She _does_ enjoy getting in touch with the common man."

Martin stewed, eating his dinner in silence. When he'd finished, Arthur thrust a small plastic container at him. "You put this in the fridge with your name on it, Skip. I thought you might want it."

The fairy cake from Theresa. He had brought it with him. He had been worried it would go stale while he was on the trip.

"Oh. Right. Thank you, Arthur." Martin opened up the container reverently, looking down at the small dessert.

"What's that you have there, Martin?" Douglas asked.

"It's nothing!" Martin cried, turning his body away from Douglas.

"Oh _really_? Come on, let's see it!"

Martin sighed. "If you must know, it's a... a... Fairy cake."

"A fairy cake? _Really._" Douglas arched a brow. "And where did you get a fairy cake?"

Martin blushed deeply. "Well, umm... Theresa... She... Made it."

"Oh, so not just any fairy cake! A _royal_ fairy cake!" Douglas grabbed for the container. "Well, let's see!"

"Douglas, stop it!" Martin demanded. "We are in the midst of flying a plane, we cannot..."

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to confiscate that fairy cake, Martin. Regulations and all." Douglas was grinning sinisterly.

"Regulations?" Martin questioned. "You can't possibly-"

"Who _knows_ what the Princess of Liechtenstein puts in her baking. Unpasteurized eggs, poppy seeds... Oh, you could get in _big_ trouble."

"Douglas, Douglas stop!" Martin continued to struggle with the First Officer over the container. "Douglas! _DOUGLASSSSSS!_"

The container slipped from Martin's fingers. It did a flip and landed with a splat on the flight deck floor.

"Oh Skip..." Arthur said. He lifted the container and picked up the smushed fairy cake. He held it out to Martin. "Well, maybe it's still good. Five second rule and all."

Martin gripped the controls so tightly his knuckles turned white. "Just throw it out, Arthur."

Douglas sighed. "Well, that was-"

"Just _don't,_ Douglas!" Martin snapped.

He didn't say anything to Douglas for the rest of the trip, their time in Minsk or the return flight.

* * *

When Martin finally got himself home after the trip to Minsk, he was still in horrible spirits. Theresa was gone. Her present for him was gone. Douglas had reached new levels of horrid.

Alisha was on her way out just as Martin came in. "Oh, Martin! Welcome back! There's something for you on the kitchen counter."

Martin made his way into the kitchen. On the counter, there was an identical container to the one he had taken Theresa's fairy cake in. Inside, there was another fairy cake. This one had a heart decorating it. Martin smiled, taking it out. He saw the note beneath it.

_Dear Martin,_

_This one is a promise that we will see each other again soon._

_Love,_  
_Theresa_

Martin lovingly carried the fairy cake up to his attic. He sat down on his bed and took a big bite out of it. It was one of the best things he'd ever tasted.

* * *

"What is going on with you and Martin?" Carolyn asked as she went through papers on her desk. Douglas was just getting ready to leave the airfield.

"Oh, you mean him not talking to me?" Douglas replied. He sighed. "Well, you see, the Captain is still feeling a bit nervous about applying to Swiss Air. I just thought I would give him a bit of encouragement."


End file.
